


To Feel Anything But This

by RedXD



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Bad Parenting, Child Neglect, Comfort, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 00:18:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19936915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedXD/pseuds/RedXD
Summary: Max internally struggles with thoughts of his relationship with his parents. Neil and him talk, Max finding a form of temporary comfort.





	To Feel Anything But This

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Sorry if Neil doesn't seem very well in character, I struggled with writing him TnT  
> 2) This wasn't technically supposed to be Nax/NeilxMax but you can interpret it that way  
> 3) This is basically me sharing my interpretation of Max's backstory

__

Max remembers when things were good. When he felt _full._ Instead of actually _looking forward_ to the god forsaken camp that is Camp Campbell.

It was when he was a tiny tot thing. Fresh into the world, things were new and exciting. Even though he was an unplanned pregnancy, his parents were happy. He was their blossoming baby boy. They would take photos and go to the beach. They’d watch movies and get ice cream.

His mom used to sing him lullabies at bedtime. From folk songs to whatever she had heard recently, she’d sing him into a lulling sleep.

Dad used to pick him up by his armpits and move him around in the air like an airplane.

Sure, they had a small apartment, underpaying jobs, and not enough sleep, but they were _happy._

He wasn’t angry, and they weren’t silent.

Then mom lost her job and dad started cheating. Mom started smoking while dad started sleeping out of the house. They both slowly stopped doing things.

Mom stopped singing. Her voice filling his dreams turned into silent records. She still tucked him in, for a while at least. Eventually, she stopped saying goodnight all together. Literally.

Instead of airplanes and flying through the air, Dad started turning to lifting him onto the couch beside him. Then to leaving him in his crib.

Both of their stares slowly dwindled and changed. He had known smiles and constant happiness. Now they didn’t even look at him. And if they did, it’d be full of distaste.

In school, he always felt out of place. So many kids would talk of their peppy, perfect families. Happy, nuclear families. Other children don’t understand much until they deal with it themselves. No one understood why nobody arrived on parent’s day for Max. Even the teachers didn’t care. They didn’t get paid to comfort him.

Over time he started getting in trouble.

_‘Max, that’s not yours!’_

_‘Share with Beth!’_

It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t like he was taught what to do and not do. His parents stopped giving a damn about what he did or didn’t know.

So he did what he wanted, living aimlessly and confused.

_Why are all these other kid’s parents telling them not to do this stuff, but mine aren’t?_

No one seemed to understand that he was doing his best, all things considered. How is someone supposed to do anything right, if they aren’t taught what that ‘right’ is.

Not to mention, the school systems were garbage. They expected parents to be the one’s to teach basic everything. From math to health, he was the only one who didn’t have a single clue.

He found interest in the chaos amidst classrooms, and no one ever told him: ‘Max, what you’re doing is considered trouble making.’ Why was he expected to know these things? He became a problem child to teachers.

The principal’s office became his second home, the first being filled with “Don’t do that again.” And when he did it again, they just slapped him. Dad would glare and walk away, Mom shaking her head in disapproval before once again not talking or interacting with him.

Growing up became one goal: Get his parents to speak to him. And since the only way to get anyone to pay attention to him was through causing mayhem, he continued his path of fire and wildness.   
  


A cycle was created. He would do his thing until he got in trouble, then his parents would get involved. They would apologize for his behavior, go home and slap him. Then they’d ignore him again and the cycle would repeat.

Max still remembers when they stopped even acting as if he existed. Around 8 or 9, he had to start making food for himself. Usually in the form of a sandwich or a snack, he was never given anything. Christmas didn’t exist in their household, and thanksgiving was a dead holiday.

Mom started working late shifts, leaving him home alone more often. He would read books scattered around the apartment, or look things up on the internet. That place became his knowledge center.

However, summer became a whole new experience. His parents would make him stay in his room a lot. Mainly by locking the door. At first, he was confused and worried, but he got the memo pretty quick.

They wanted to get rid of him though, get him off their shoulders. So when a random summer camp flier came in the mail, they signed him up without a second glance.

Didn’t even bother to sign him up for anything in particular. Just camp.

Arriving there, it didn’t take long to realize that Camp Cambell is a crazy place. The campers are questionable intelligence and characteristic, the counselors polar opposites.

He kept to himself, subjected to loneliness since the beginning of time. David, a red-headed moron running the camp activities, quickly became the bane of his existence. He seemed to be completely ignorant to the shithole of a world he lives in.

A week or two in, and two new campers arrived. Neil and Nikki. His people.

Neil is the brainiac. A complete nerd, awkward and antisocial. Withal, he is also ballsy and stubborn. Someone who, if you’re are considered his friend, he will defend you in all situations. Well, unless that situation involves him and his opinions.

Nikki is the adventure crazy weirdo. She speaks 50% forest, 50% chaos. She’ll do anything as long as it sounds interesting. In fact, she is basically the exact opposite of your typical girly girl. She thrives in the wilderness, and is a complete extrovert, hanging out with anyone even slightly intriguing.

Now here is Max.

An absolute, little shit.

Why? Cause it’s the things that makes him _feel._ He doesn’t want to feel gloomy or angry, so he’d rather feel like a terrible kid. And, at least terrible kids get attention. Get _interacted_ with.

\--

“Alright campers! Today we will be watching an improv show performed by Preston, Nerris, and Dolph!” David cheers excitedly.

There’s mixed joy and boredom from the bunch of kids.

The group walks towards the stage, the group of improv idiots walking backstage with Gwen and David, while everyone else sits down.

_Camp is almost over._

He hates that he’s almost remorseful. Except, here he’s been chaotic and he’s had _fun._ He’s made friends.. He has actually felt something other than anger and somber. After the camp ends though, he’ll be subjected to the boredom and misery of home.

While they wait, he stands up in a slump. Neil whispers, “Where are you going?”

Nikki grins. “Are you going on an adventure? I wanna come!”

Max grumbles as he turns away. “No I’m not going adventuring, just watch this trainwreck. I’ll be back.”

He shoves his hands in his pockets and walks to the pier. The sun beats down miserably on the muggy lake. He sits down at the end of the pier, looking down at the water. It sits still, boring and uneventful. A sigh forms at the back of his throat.

_Of course this boring lake would be boringly still._

His fingers clench tightly around the edge of the wooden path. Just in case he slips y’know? Considering his parents never bothered to teach him to swim, he’s clueless about such a thing.

On a worse day, he’d have a looser grip. He’d lean a bit farther forward. Cause, if he’s really hurting, a part of him wonders if he’d feel something new when drowning in silent waters.

Today, is not a day like that though. Right now, he is content with the feeling of fabric touching his skin, his favorite hoodie hugging him cozily.

It’s odd. He’s used to silence, yet when it’s silent at Camp Campbell, he actually feels a bit weird. As if something unusual is occurring.

The planks below him creak from behind. He feels a new weight beside him. In the corner of his eye he sees yellow, confirming his already prominent assumption.

_Nikki is never quiet, I’d hear her coming a mile away._

He stares straight ahead, not moving to give any recognition or notice of Neil’s presence.

The brown-haired boy however, clears his throat and fiddles his fingers in his lap.

“You seem off today. Usually you love to boo at the end of Preston’s god awful shows.” His voice is squeaky as per usual.

Max shrugs. “Didn’t feel like it. His shitty flip-flop performances get repetitive after a while.”

“I guess.”

A pause.

They both sit there, silent for once, just lost in their own thoughts.

_Why did Neil leave the show to come sit here with me?_

People. He’ll never understand them.

He thinks back to when Neil’s calculator robot shithole happened. Right before then, they were getting the mail accumulated for them, from parents mainly. He had gotten a hoodie. One identical to his current blue one, like a spare. It’s more than he expected to be honest. Them sending anything at all was a surprise. And yet.. A hoodie? It reminded him of how little they care about his interests or passions. It’s not like he really has any of those things anyways, unless being a little shit counts as an interest. Even so, they at least thought of him right? That’s an improvement from the ignoring.

Neil shuffles beside him, swallowing. “Are you okay Max?”

_What the-_

“I’m at this fucking nightmare camp so it’s still undecided. At least David tripped this morning which was funny.” His voice cracks a bit, barely noticeable, but he hears it in his own voice and cringes.

“Ah. Well, I’m not really an expert on lying like I am with science, but I can tell something is up.” He glances at him. “We’re friends right? This is the kind of stuff friends can talk about. At least I think so, usually if I have a problem I just find some formula I can use to fix it.”

_Friends huh? Still feels weird that I actually have those now._

Max takes a rock from his pocket (never know if you’ll need to throw shit at someone) and throws it at the water. It leaps for once before plopping into the water.

“Fucking weak.” He mutters under his breath, unsatisfied with his toss.

_Should I tell Neil about my parents..?_

_.._

_No way. He’d think I’m some weak baby. Can’t ruin my reputation._

He looks over at Neil. The two meet eyes. Teal and blue.

“Neil, I’m the fucking same as always. Get your head out of the gutter.” He grumbles.

The other nods and looks at the lake.

The dark-haired boy expects this to be the end of it, and Neil will go back to where the rest of the campers are. Instead, there’s a moment of silence before Neil speaks again.

“I woke up early yesterday. Had a weird dream and ended up being out of bed at 4:00 am.”

_Why is he telling me this?_

Neil continues. “When I woke up, I decided to just code on my computer until everyone woke up. Before I started coding though, I noticed something.”

The last word is said oddly sympathetic.

_Is there a point to this that is relevant to me?_

“You were tossing and turning in your sleep a lot. I actually thought you were just a squirmy sleeper at first, but now that I think back to it. Were you having a nightmare?”

_Fuck._

“What- No. Neil are you nuts? Why would I be having nightmares?” He snickers.

The other nods, but doesn’t look to be buying it. “Uhuh, and let me ask you this, do you think I’m an idiot?”

_What the fuck is happening-_

“No, why the fuck- Neil what’s the point of this?” He crosses his arms.

_There better be a-_

“I can tell you’re lying.”

Silence. Tense, thick silence piercing the air.

Is he that obvious? Is it that blatantly clear to everyone? That he’s just a pathetic, small kid.

“Max, what’s wro-”

His heart speaks before his mind does. “Parents.”

Neil’s eyes widen. “Wh-What?”

He turns to glare at him, speaking defensively. “I said parents!”

“Right. So, are your parents not.. Good parents?” He stumbles.

Max gestures wildly into the air, familiar confusion and anger filling him to the brim. “I don’t know! They don’t really care about me anymore, and all they do is ignore me nowadays. For fucks sake, the sent me to this damn summer camp just to get rid of me!” He exclaims.

The brown-haired boy frowns. “Your parents sound like ignorant cunts.”

_Wait seri-_

He chuckles at that. “Pff- What about you?”

“Me?”

Giving a look of ‘Of course you, who else,’ he raises an eyebrow. “Any shit you have to put up with?”

Neil gives a lazy shrug. “I mean, my dad is an embarrassing weirdo and my mom is dating a complete douchebag. It’s just the life of a kid with divorced parents.”

“Sounds annoying.”

A laugh. “Yeah, it is.”

They gaze at each other.

Max shakes his head, standing up. “Thanks for that I guess.” His eyes widen for a moment. “And don’t you dare tell anyone about this! Especially Nikki!”

“Yeah yeah.” He grins.

“I’m serious- if this gets back to the gang, I will kill you.” Max warns.

Rolling his eyes, Neil nods as they walk back towards where the stage is.

_I felt something other than anger and sadness. A good day._


End file.
